Soooo…. why are you single?
I get asked this question quite often. It’s a combination of annoying, depressing, and eye-opening.
One of these days my answer is going to offend someone. It’s because I attract Neanderthals.
The old adage, you are what you attract – NOPE. I’m smart, I have goals, I’m nice, I’m polite, I clean up nicely, I’m considerate. I attract the opposite or someone who lacks all of the above.
The question is annoying. I’m not single because I’m one of those ‘I-don’t -need-no-man’ women. Nah. Nope. Bugs need to be killed. (If you don’t know, I am terrified of bugs. I dont like em. Big. Small. Crawly. Flying. All of em gotta go.) I wanna feel like I’m being taken care of and protected. There is nothing like a genuine bond between a woman and man on the same page. I absolutely crave that.
I’m willing to admit that I’m not perfect. I’m really really REALLY close though. 🙂 I know I have flaws but I don’t think they’re major enough to keep me single for the rest of my life. I love sports. I don’t eat beef or pork. I can cook and clean. I don’t smoke. Sarcasm is my friend. If you don’t understand sarcasm, I may not be your friend. I have all of my teeth, 2 eyes, 10 fingers. My feet… well you’ll never see or touch them, but that’s not anything you’ll ever be able to judge me on initially.
If you would have asked me to describe my perfect man when I was 21, I would’ve described a fictional character from one of those black wedding movies from 1999. Tall (6’3 or taller), dark, handsome, intelligent, working, funny, successful, goal driven, left handed, childless, has his own place, has his own car, college degree holder, etc. I had a list. You couldn’t tell me anything about my list. I wasn’t taking anything off of it. In fact, I was adding to it! I figured the more I added to it, the better of a chance I would have to find ‘him’ out there somewhere.
Fast forward 10 years. I’m not as picky. That is not to be mistaken for not having standards. I’m looking for basic things though. Can you hold a conversation and properly conjugate your verbs and use nouns and pronouns correctly? Do you understand the difference between loose-lose-loss? If you don’t work because the job market sucks right now, are you looking? Are you trying to come up with something? Just the basics. Although I still want him to be taller than me and preferably childless. But I understand I’ve eliminated more than 80% of the male population over 31 with those parameters.
I honestly can’t ever really answer that question because I just don’t know. I’m just gonna hold on to the hope that he’s somewhere out there. And if you happen to know him, can you tap him on his shoulder and tell him to read this?
Why do YOU think I’m single?