Mr. Hollywood – my laugh from last night.

So listen. I’m from Southern California. Land of  ‘everyone wants to be famous but most folks aren’t’. Folks move there to make it big time – become actresses and actors, musicians, writers, directors. You wanna be famous, give Southern California a try. You’ll be there with millions of other folks just like you. In no way am I knocking the dream or the hustle. Now as a result of everyone wanting to be someone, you can imagine the nightlife scene is a hot mess of people who know people who know people or at least pretend to. Instead of standing in line, people walk up to the velvet ropes and expect for them to part. If the ropes don’t automatically part, step 2 is to pull out the cell phone and attempt to call or text someone to tell the behemoth of a bouncer to let you in. That may or may not happen.

I experienced that last night… except I wasn’t in Hollywood. I was in Washington DC on 18th St. It wasn’t the most popular place on the street. Just a bar that I’ve heard about and wanted to see. A friend and I agree to go check it out. We get there, of course there’s a line. Its about a 7 minute line. I run next door to use the ladies room. By the time I get back, my friend is like 2 people away from the front. SWEET. So I walk up the line to catch up with him. That’s when my roommate and her date show up. Mind you, she joins us in line. He’s over there pulling a Hollywood.

**Let me throw this in there for fun. I met him back at our place. He wears man sandals. (I HATE MAN SANDALS – a post that is coming very soon!) He doesn’t like sports. That’s different from not having a team – he’s just not interested in it because he’s not vested in it nor can impact any change in the outcome. Ugh. I tried oh so very hard to not roll my eyes at him. I failed. I did it and walked away. He was too arrogant, pompous, bougie… But the best thing about it was he wasn’t MY date nor did I have to see him again…or so I thought.**

Back to Mr. Hollywood standing off to the side of the ropes on his phone. Mind you, when they showed up, we were two people from getting in. And the line was moving. The bouncer was checking IDs and we were on our way. There was no reason for Mr. Hollywood to be on the phone. Basically my friend did all of the waiting – all 7 minutes of it for all of us. So we get to the bouncer, who was kinda funny in a dry sarcastic way. I watched him tell a group of people off to the side that they weren’t making any sense and to get their lives together. Anyway, the bouncer asks for our IDs and Mr. Hollywood then tries to get in line with us. The bouncer was having none of that. He told Mr. Hollywood ‘That’s a no-go. You were just over there on the phone trying to call someone, now you’re in line? Nah.” His words, NOT mine. My friend and I were already in but my roommate and her date were not. She did the appropriate thing and went with him. Yall know good and well I woulda walked in and watched for him while I was ordering my drink at the bar!!!

After about 10 minutes, they show up and she’s like, he’s so mad because they made us go to the end of the line. It took EVERYTHING in me not to tell her what I was thinking… I didn’t. So apparently he’s got an attitude. He goes and gets drinks. I don’t care. I’m laughing and joking with my friend and people watching. We were standing off in a corner out of the heavy traffic area. During all of the walking and dancing, someone spilled their drink near the dance floor. One of the employees starts mopping it up. He had a real mop and was mopping the floor and kinda ‘sweeping’ the ice towards us off in the corner. Well apparently an ice cube got on Mr. Hollywood’s dress shoes – he abandoned the man sandals – and that was it. He told my roommate, Lets go. And they left. All I could think was sheesh… Cause again, I woulda been like, uh nah. I’m good. You wanna go, bye!!! After I thought that, then I was like thank goodness! He was such a vibe killer.

All of that to say, be you. Don’t try too hard, don’t be someone you aren’t. Name dropping is never cute. If you aren’t important, it’s really easy to tell. Most people who have real connections and relationships with important people try and keep that on the low. At least I do. You don’t need to know who I know or how I get the things I get. Just know that I can. Clearly my connection and I are on top of things. No need to include other folks who may not know how to act.

I really hope I don’t see Mr. Hollywood again, but I have a sneaking suspicion he’ll be around again.

questions? comments? concerns?

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