I had a 3 day free trial to match.com that ended last week. In such a short time, it is difficult to make great connections…blah blah blah. So a couple of guys hit me up. So we email a few times. One guy in particular – he’s nice or at least seems that way. But he never makes an effort to ask me out or have a conversation outside of hi and bye. Why waste my time then?
That lil episode above got me to thinking about some of the terrible dates I’ve been on. I’ve been on a few bad ones. I’ll start you off slowly.
I think I actually met this guy on Match.com back when I paid for a month to try it out. He seemed nice. Attractive, wonderful smile, no glaring spelling or grammar errors in his bio. We emailed for awhile. Then he asked me out. We met in a bar – he picked the place. I remember it was a weekday. So I get there and he’s late. I make a mental note, but I’m not tripping. Traffic in Los Angeles can be a nightmare. Especially where we were meeting. He shows up about 5 minutes late. Not too bad. We sit at one of the booths surrounding the actual bar. We make small talk until one of the servers comes over. Of course, the server asks us what we would like to drink. I order my classic – Stoli and cranberry with a splash of sweet & sour. He turns to my date – he orders a chocolate milk.
Chocolate milk? At a bar? Why pick a bar to meet if you don’t drink? Pick a restaurant? Or the park? Or the movies? OR ANYWHERE THAT ISNT A BAR?
Ok. So I’m curious. So I ask him about the chocolate milk. I make a comment, I didn’t think a bar would have chocolate milk. He says, oh no. I always order chocolate milk here. I order it all the time everywhere I go.
Ok, so I try not to focus on the chocolate milk. We decide to order food at the bar. At least I do, because I realize I’m gonna have to drink this date fun. So I order something. He orders spicy boneless wings and corn on the cob. Word? Corn on the cob at a bar? Then he proceeded to drink his chocolate milk and complain about how spicy the spicy boneless wings were and how eating corn on the cob made his teeth hurt.
Dude. What is wrong with you?
He then lets me taste one of his spicy boneless wings so I can see how amazingly spicy they are. Because he’s downing water and chocolate milk like he bit directly into a Serrano pepper. Of course they weren’t spicy. I stick it out to the end because I’m a trooper. I get in the car and drive away like, did that really happen?
But I will never EVER forget the chocolate milk fiasco.