The minivan

 

i used to live in southern california. we drive a LOT. there is almost always a freeway involved in my trip. over time, ive started to notice a few things. some of this is scientific, some of it is by observation & conversation, and some of it is based on good ol fashioned stereotypical assumptions.

 

 

 

 

minivans are always troublesome. it doesnt matter if they are old or new. in traffic, they tend to be high on the annoyance list. minivans are cumbersome ugly vehicles. they remind me of elephants on wheels. doesnt matter the make or model. i want like 5 kids, but i swear i wont ever own a minivan. i’ll make two trips if i have to. those things are terrible. and so far, ive just talked about the way they look.

 

on the road, theyre the worst. minivans are built to carry multiple people. this means on the freeways, the driver is probably yelling at 14 kids to sit down and be quiet which causes their driving skills to suffer. minivan drivers are clearly not able to multitask or else they wouldnt have bought the thing…but they were too busy doing something else to look at it – but i digress. anyway, the driver of a minivan is yelling at kids which prevents them from being able to do more than 40 mph on the freeway or stay in their own freakin lane and quit drifting in my lane.

 

and this is all assuming we are talking about a new minivan. you have a better shot of enjoying your commute driving behind a newer minivan than one from 1987.

 

im just saying…

 

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